2011 Poem A Day Challenge - Day 5

Today is our first "Two for Tuesday" prompt of the month. For those who are new to the challenge, I provide two prompts instead of one--usually polar opposites of each other--and poets can choose which one to use. Of course, quite a few poets write a poem for both prompts. For today's prompt, do one of the following: 1)Write a goofy poem, or 2) Write a serious poem.

About as straight-forward a prompt as you can get...

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"The Ballad of Admiral Poopypants"

In an ancient land of dukes and kings
Of flying carpets and magic rings
Of dinosaurs and giant ants
There lived the Admiral Poopypants

He was a man of seven feet
Not much brains, but lots of meat
Made him the Admiral so he could be
The best damned man in the whole navy

He's a man who wouldn't like to fight
Cause he'll knock you down with all his might
He was the master of temper and soul
Shame he had no bowel control

He led 1,000 men or more
And all their loyalty they swore
He led the charge with the thundering hoof
And rode a saddle filled with poop

Many a tyrant and giant fell down
As surely as his pants were brown
Many a maiden he would try to kiss and save
Though all of them longed for an early grave

He sailed all the lands from shore to shore
His journeys are the stuff of love
Never was a man who was so dashing
Never had a man made so much splashing

But to all the heroes there comes a day
When the story seems to finds it's way
To the time when he would ride no more
For he was beyond saddle sore

With calamine lotions and gentle baths
He soon found fame along other paths
He now sits on a throne all golden and shiny
His greatest quest? He saved his hiney!

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"Chemicals"

Nature was not fast enough
Or good enough for man
There were things that he wanted
To satisfy unknown demand

He broke down the formulas
He figured out the math
He created a new science
He created a new path

With chemicals he found his strength
With chemicals he reigns
With chemicals he has the means
Of solving the worlds pains

Monkey see and monkey do
Soon we all were in the act
Without really knowing why
We were laying down the tracks

We heard that this was better
We knew this was the way
Soon the chemicals have captured
Every moment, every day

When one could not solve it all
He created two or three
He learned to respect what was man made
And had no regard for beast or tree

The numbers led to action
The action led to success
The success became a burden
The burden became a mess

For soon man had lost all control
Of the chemicals around
Now there were too many
Forming unforeseen compounds

Regardless of their purposes
The chemicals evolved
And soon man was redefined
Another problem to be solved

Could have left well enough alone
But now it is too late
For the chemicals have now consumed
Our souls, our selves, our fate

When striving for perfection
Never forget the costs
For when perfection is all you seek
All humanity is lost