2011 Poem A Day Challenge - Day 12
Write a form poem. This could be a sonnet, pantoum, lune, or even something as sinister as a--dare I say it--sestina... -OR- Write an anti-form poem. Just as there are poets who love playing with forms, there are poets who think they are the worst thing ever. That's fine. Express (in either free verse or a prose poem) your feelings on writing in traditional forms.
==================================
I have to put in some extra effort in tonight. To be honest, I was not happy with my day 11 entry. I'll be blunt, you could have called it Verizon... because I phoned it in. I know that part of the drill and the challenge is to be automatic in your writing, but that last one really didn't ring true for me. I'm still not sure which 5 I'm going to submit to Robert for possible publication when all is said and done, but I know for a fact that "Maybe Next Time" will not be one of them. Sorry kid, you're cut!
Ok... let's look at the first one. I am not a trained poet. I may have majored in English in High School (Regents with Honors represent, yo!), but I've never done any serious study in the poetic forms. I just take what's inside and work with it. And since this isn't exactly brain surgery, being self trained and motivated is not necessarily detrimental to the art. Of the ones that are listed, I would like to try a lune. Something about that word makes me very happy. So, let's explore what a lune is. According to our friends at Wikipedia:
Lune is a fixed-form variant haiku created for the English language, and consists of two versions:
The Robert Kelly lune
Robert Kelly, a Professor of Literature at Bard College, invented a new form of English-language haiku using the form 5/3/5 syllables, with the intention of making the form closer to the Japanese haiku than English-language haiku written in a 5/7/5 syllable format.
The Jack Collom lune
It is measured in words rather than syllables, making it easier for children to learn and compose. The form is 3/5/3 words. Jack Collom created this new form of haiku by chance, when he misremembered the original creation of Kelly's as this form, thereby creating a new one.
Both versions are free from all constraints associated with haiku, thus need contain no kigo (season-word), kire (cut), may rhyme and may use all other poetic devices.
Interesting... let's have some fun with form!
=================================
I'm in love with you
My darling
You make me happy
My dearest
You've done the same thing
To my heart
Will you please be mine?
I want you
To be my girlfriend
Yes, of course!
A boyfriend like you?
Can't say no!
Burning my black book!
This is it!
I found everything!
So happy!
Must tell my girlfriends!
He's the one!
My lovely girlfriend
I don't mind
Dinners without meat
My boyfriend
You like pro wrestling
That's ok
Your mother's calling
10 p.m.?
Must be important
Who's Sheila?
She texts you a lot
I suppose...
That side of the bed
It was mine
But if you want it
Dinner out
With your friends, not mine
No big deal
We get along fine
No really
Everything's good, but
I love him
No really, I do
It's just that
Her snoring is loud
And mornings
She hogs the bathroom
Picks his nose
And can't watch TV
Without sports
Her friends hate my guts
Dude, really?
What did I do wrong?
Found strange link
Thought I was girlfriend
Or am I?
Love her, not drama
Can't take it
Tonight, we'll have talk
He wants porn?
Well, after tonight,
Have at it!
I walk in the room
Soulful eyes
Staring into mine
I see him
Has that warm smile
Makes me weak
Did I lose my mind?
Look at her
I can't do better!
I love him
I can still fix him
I'll make time
I'll simply pretend
And focus
Only on the good
My project
To make him into
What I want
I love you, darling
Let's go out
And get some dinner
Oh dearest
That sounds like heaven
Love you, too
==================================
Ok, for round 2, have to go completely against form. To do this, I need to get a little unhinged over here. Hard to spell out what that's like in words. Have you even seen Stanley Kubrick films? You know those scenes where characters start to get mental? Pretty much like that...
==================================
"SQUAWK SQWAUK! SKUWALK!!!"
Your eyeball in my hand
Why won't the r3st of your head come with it?!?!?
If I keep looking up and concentrate as hard as I can, I will have your life
Tomorrow we leave for the sex house
DREAM!
(rise)
FOOL!!
(rise)
MONSTER!!!
(rise)
I discovered you (as you lived with them)
But with your badgorgeous face...
We should get going!@
That brightly swwweeeeeettt storm will never smile
In towns fat with climbing flowers
rescue her here... a new day...
Chocolate money
Passed across the counter
Of a smelly green shoppe
Spend deeply
Celebrate the ache
It's been so loud of late
Catch the moon!
(your hint - it's under one of the trees...
and i don't care how late you play...
but if you should fall off?...]
The sick crisp of happy secrets
Snakes licking beautiful music
In the home of the calm, corrupted film,
Let's skin a plastic god
7 into seven
5 in eight
Times for wise clock counter it spins
His desert songs
Creeping off the tongue
And it's as bad as you wish
The ground is dark as we huddle cheek to cheek
Taste madness
Created alone
J.
==================================
I have to put in some extra effort in tonight. To be honest, I was not happy with my day 11 entry. I'll be blunt, you could have called it Verizon... because I phoned it in. I know that part of the drill and the challenge is to be automatic in your writing, but that last one really didn't ring true for me. I'm still not sure which 5 I'm going to submit to Robert for possible publication when all is said and done, but I know for a fact that "Maybe Next Time" will not be one of them. Sorry kid, you're cut!
Ok... let's look at the first one. I am not a trained poet. I may have majored in English in High School (Regents with Honors represent, yo!), but I've never done any serious study in the poetic forms. I just take what's inside and work with it. And since this isn't exactly brain surgery, being self trained and motivated is not necessarily detrimental to the art. Of the ones that are listed, I would like to try a lune. Something about that word makes me very happy. So, let's explore what a lune is. According to our friends at Wikipedia:
Lune is a fixed-form variant haiku created for the English language, and consists of two versions:
The Robert Kelly lune
Robert Kelly, a Professor of Literature at Bard College, invented a new form of English-language haiku using the form 5/3/5 syllables, with the intention of making the form closer to the Japanese haiku than English-language haiku written in a 5/7/5 syllable format.
The Jack Collom lune
It is measured in words rather than syllables, making it easier for children to learn and compose. The form is 3/5/3 words. Jack Collom created this new form of haiku by chance, when he misremembered the original creation of Kelly's as this form, thereby creating a new one.
Both versions are free from all constraints associated with haiku, thus need contain no kigo (season-word), kire (cut), may rhyme and may use all other poetic devices.
Interesting... let's have some fun with form!
=================================
I'm in love with you
My darling
You make me happy
My dearest
You've done the same thing
To my heart
Will you please be mine?
I want you
To be my girlfriend
Yes, of course!
A boyfriend like you?
Can't say no!
Burning my black book!
This is it!
I found everything!
So happy!
Must tell my girlfriends!
He's the one!
My lovely girlfriend
I don't mind
Dinners without meat
My boyfriend
You like pro wrestling
That's ok
Your mother's calling
10 p.m.?
Must be important
Who's Sheila?
She texts you a lot
I suppose...
That side of the bed
It was mine
But if you want it
Dinner out
With your friends, not mine
No big deal
We get along fine
No really
Everything's good, but
I love him
No really, I do
It's just that
Her snoring is loud
And mornings
She hogs the bathroom
Picks his nose
And can't watch TV
Without sports
Her friends hate my guts
Dude, really?
What did I do wrong?
Found strange link
Thought I was girlfriend
Or am I?
Love her, not drama
Can't take it
Tonight, we'll have talk
He wants porn?
Well, after tonight,
Have at it!
I walk in the room
Soulful eyes
Staring into mine
I see him
Has that warm smile
Makes me weak
Did I lose my mind?
Look at her
I can't do better!
I love him
I can still fix him
I'll make time
I'll simply pretend
And focus
Only on the good
My project
To make him into
What I want
I love you, darling
Let's go out
And get some dinner
Oh dearest
That sounds like heaven
Love you, too
==================================
Ok, for round 2, have to go completely against form. To do this, I need to get a little unhinged over here. Hard to spell out what that's like in words. Have you even seen Stanley Kubrick films? You know those scenes where characters start to get mental? Pretty much like that...
==================================
"SQUAWK SQWAUK! SKUWALK!!!"
Your eyeball in my hand
Why won't the r3st of your head come with it?!?!?
If I keep looking up and concentrate as hard as I can, I will have your life
Tomorrow we leave for the sex house
DREAM!
(rise)
FOOL!!
(rise)
MONSTER!!!
(rise)
I discovered you (as you lived with them)
But with your badgorgeous face...
We should get going!@
That brightly swwweeeeeettt storm will never smile
In towns fat with climbing flowers
rescue her here... a new day...
Chocolate money
Passed across the counter
Of a smelly green shoppe
Spend deeply
Celebrate the ache
It's been so loud of late
Catch the moon!
(your hint - it's under one of the trees...
and i don't care how late you play...
but if you should fall off?...]
The sick crisp of happy secrets
Snakes licking beautiful music
In the home of the calm, corrupted film,
Let's skin a plastic god
7 into seven
5 in eight
Times for wise clock counter it spins
His desert songs
Creeping off the tongue
And it's as bad as you wish
The ground is dark as we huddle cheek to cheek
Taste madness
Created alone
J.
posted by Jim Steinhoff at
6:24 PM
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